Saturday, February 14, 2009 @ 7:06 PM.
...and Valentines' Day just got worse and worse every year.
Well, it started off fine, actually.. Wished Khai a happy valentines' day at midnight, and he replied..
"Happy Valentines Day to you Mas. Hope you're well and strong. Glad you're doing okay now. Once again, happy valentines. Goodnight."
and that was it. I was happy, no doubt, to just receive a reply from him.. My eyes stung as I opened and read the message, tears of joy or sadness, I have no idea.. I had this strong urge to just press 'reply' and tell him that no, i'm not okay, that I miss him terribly and to ask if he could strengthen our relationship once again. But being the coward that I am, I just placed the phone on the table after reading the message.
Imagine having to look forward to a day with someone, only to be turned down just because I said "It's okay, you don't have to meet me tomorrow". Okay, I really need some advice on this because I was really never good with words and I always spit out the wrong things. But sensing reluctancy, was I wrong to say that? And after that, the invitation to join the ex-boyfriend and his friends was cancelled at the last minute. When I say last minute, I do mean last minute. I found out only at the place through a text message that I was unwelcomed as the friends wanted it to be only a guys day out. You know, you could have told me earlier. I wouldn't mind at all. But only to be told then? Sigh. And how ironic it was to see a certain someone out with another girl.
I left my place at 10 in the morning. and it's already 7.30 at night now. I'm currently at the Esplanade library. After a long day at town and city hall, I decided to settle down here. Bought chocolates for my colleagues at Zara. Atleast they were occupied with work to let them forget about Valentines' Day. Everywhere was crowded with couples, girls holding bouquets of flowers and balloons, pathways being blocked by couples who didn't want to stop holding hands, hugging and kissing everywhere. Wanted to catch a movie alone, but of course, it's no surprise why all the movies were selling out fast. Even Mum received a super romantic text message from Dad in Brunei. aiyo. I'm that pathetic.
I kept thinking of Khai, when I know I'm not supposed to. I miss him, I really do.. Before we broke up, I've actually already planned on what I'm going to do with him during this year's Valentines' day. My plan was an overnight at Sentosa, just with him. But, argh. No point talking about it.. :'(
On a brighter note, THANK YOU NURUL HUDA BINTE JASMAN FOR THE VALENTINES DAY GIFT! :D A picture of us on a bookmark and a 'Love' VCD. One of the best Indonesian movies ever! I cried during the ending, cos i was thinking how nice it would be to have someone to love you even after finding out you had breast cancer and even if you're carrying someone else's child. Okay, it's not like as if I have cancer or pregnant, but you get what i mean. (:
