Tuesday, January 27, 2009 @ 11:23 PM.
First of all, I’d like to wish all the beautiful Chinese people out there a very Happy Lunar New Year!! (:
Just a few things to update on…
The judging for the VM of the MSC outlets will be held on Wednesday! Cool or what. The NYP Giordano Team has worked hard to win (well, hopefully we do). The shop looks gooooood. Like damn good. Okay, maybe not, but c’mon. Give me some face. To Zhe Yow (If you’re reading this), hahahahaha, thanks for the criticisms man. Once the competition is over, I’ll stop giving you my ‘black face’ okay? Lol. But anyways, Zhe Yow’s still the best! :D
Made a new special friend, by ‘mistake’ (some would know what I’m talking about). And she really IS special. (:
…and I’m currently undergoing some kind of sickness called ‘Impulstreotis’. It’s a newly discovered disease, which will enable the patient to buy things on impulse. It’s quite harmless actually. And I think it’s making me happy.
- Will be right back after these messages –
To a few people out there who happen to be reading this and who happen to be one of those people I’ve met for the past few weeks, if you happen to fall into the category of JERKS WHOSE MAIN INTENTION IS JUST TO TOY WITH GIRLS, well, YOU CAN JUST GO AND DIE AND GO TO HELL RIGHT AFTER THAT AND JUST CONTINUE TO BE THE SATAN’S MINIONS AND SERVANTS SINCE YOU’RE ALREADY ONE.
Don’t worry. I’m fine. And I’m still smiling.
- And back to the show! –
I think I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m going to mention it again anyway.
I think I may have the weirdest mum ever. Or are all mums like that?.. Let me explain and you be the judge.
She’s fine one moment, and can act like a crazy woman soon after, and she’ll be fine again after that. She gets mad after finding out that I went out with some other guy other than Khai. Even called up the guy to tell him to make sure I come home straight away. Once home, gave me a freaking long, Long, LONG lecture (well, she doesn’t know what happened between me and Khai and thinks that I’m cheating on him.). And right after that, she apologizes and pretends nothing happened. And what’s more, she told me it’s okay if I were to go out with other guys. And the next day, she’ll go back to her crazy self and asks me why am I still talking to other guys. I seriously don’t get it man. I thought I’m the only confused one. Now I know where I got it from. HAHA.
But oh well. She’s still my beloved mummy. Who worships Rihanna. She sings to Unfaithful and Umbrella most of the time at home. Though she only gets the chorus right. I don’t know if I should be proud of that or not.
Had a tiff with the ex boyfriend last week. It didn’t turn out good. I was blocked from msn, and for sure, deleted off his phone book as well.
But hey, I’ve been thinking…
I guess that man really did love me. I guess he wasn’t out just to toy with me or mess with my feelings. Okay, maybe he did. But I don’t think that was his main intention…
The past haunted me.
I remembered seeing the Mini M&Ms bottle in his room, sitting on top of his Hi-Fi player. That was actually the Mini M&Ms chocolates I bought for him on our third date, when we sat behind Takashimaya at 6pm-7pm on a Sunday, after I finished work, and he was having his dinner break (he was still working at Borders then). And he still kept that blue bottle even after a few months had passed.
I remembered how he would still come and meet me even if he was clearly feeling unwell. Not once, but many times. There was even a time when he sprained his ankle the night before, and still went to meet me at Orchard because he knew I’d be unhappy if he didn’t meet me (evil me), although he was limping in pain throughout the whole date. He went on MC many times, just to spend the whole day with me. Even when he was clearly broke, he still insisted on buying an MC just to make me happy.
He’d buy me gifts and dinners… The very first gift was that green tube dress from Hula & Co. There were a few others, but one that I will not forget is this particular dress which he paid for using the last few bucks he had. I remembered how he said he wanted to use that money to buy a pair of Adidas shoes for himself, but instead, he gave me a surprise by spending it on that dress instead…
I remembered calling him my favourite Saturday boy as he would spend every single Saturday with me, for the whole day. Our Chinatown trip, our Sentosa date, the bowling day,……we were happy.
I still remembered the day we first broke up. The misunderstanding. The accusations I made, accusing him of being a selfish guy who didn’t have a heart. Who only knows how to point out my mistakes and not someone who was there for me. But little did I know that he was the one who called up my friend, hoping that he could help me with the project which was due the next day. Hoping that I’ll feel less stressed out. I remembered sitting on that bench with him that night, looking at him cry, telling me all he wanted to do was to see me happy. The happiness that he cannot ever give me. We patched up one week after, it was his decision. I was over the moon, of course. Only God knows how happy I was that day. If he didn’t love me, he wouldn’t want me back in his life, would he?...
…I’m glad I got to be his companion for those few months. Even if it meant I was actually sharing him with someone else… I guess I have to understand that all he wanted was something to distract him away from the commitment he thought he wasn’t ready to go through…
I thought he was the one. Haha. Guess I wasn’t thinking right. I’m 18. He’s 25. Who in the right mind would think that a relationship like that could work out? Maybe I was girlfriend material, but definitely not wife material for someone who is obviously old enough to get married. Argh. Fucking stupid.
Khai, if you’re reading this, just remember this okay? You’re still on my mind till now. I know you’re happy now, whoever you’re with, wherever you are. I remember how you told me you want to see me happy too, and I will be. I’m sorry I said all those things to you the other day… you deleted me off your msn and phonebook and if that’s what you really want, to forget about me just like that, I’ll respect your decision. But truth is, I still do want to be your friend. Remember how you said to me, “I may not be your boyfriend now, but you’re still my very good friend.”? Where have your words gone to? You know, every night, I have this very strong urge to just text you? But I guess, it was your decision to forget about me, and I should might as well respect that. I wish you well, and I still pray to God, asking Him to bless you and keep you safe.
Zhe Yow told me last Friday to stop talking about my ex on my blog.
To Zhe Yow: Don’t worry, this MAY be the last entry about him. Let’s hope so. Lol.
I guess what Khai told me is true. I have lots of other people around me who still care for me and love me. Those who are willing to be there for me, those who are willing to be there to listen, those who are there who are willing to make me happy. I will never be alone, won’t I? and yeah, I think I should better stop mourning already like as if someone died. Haha. It’s time to move on baby. It’s time to look ahead and see what the future has in store for me. And yes, like what Khai said AGAIN, I’m still young, I still have a whole life to look forward to, and I should make full use of it. See what I mean when I say Khai has taught me a lot of things? He wasn’t my 25 year old boyfriend for nothing okay. He was like a friend, a brother, and a father to me too. I don’t know. Maybe I just feel that way because I’ve never really felt love from a father in my life. And fyi, I DO have a father.. But hey, that’s another story.
Always the first to cast stones,
Always the first to cry out sinner.
Then you sneak home to gratify yourself in a dark corner,
And take out your frustrations on anyone who crosses you.
