Sunday, January 4, 2009 @ 11:33 PM.
as hard as letting him go, it was as hard trying to believe whatever he wrote in his blog. it sucks to feel this way. sucks knowing that you can't trust anyone.i'm thankful, though. for having people who were there to listen to me. thanks for the encouraging words, guys.
it was hard to concentrate at work. Zara should probably stop playing so much love songs and start playing Chinese New Year songs.
i swear this month is the month of heartbreaks. had a fair share of tragic love stories with colleagues today. one is married at 22, but husband is having an affair. another found out that her boyfriend has been going out with multiple different girls. another one is being neglected. another really loves her boyfriend, but she just had to find out that he was just making use of her. guys suck. suck suck suck big time. jerks jerks jerks jerks jerks jerks jerks. argh.
Khai was being sweet today. Caught me by surprise by texting me whether I was already on the way home and stuff.
"You're no longer my gf, but you're still my very close friend."
It sucks to be reminded that he's no longer mine. Not that he was mine in the first place, but you get it. He's the first person i gave my everything to. I thought he was the one. But.. sigh. No point talking about it.
I cried so hard last night, after he told me that he still needs to get her back in his life. Where does that put me? Just at the blink of an eye, I'm an outsider. This is now all nothing about me. It's now all about THEM. KHAI AND HUDA. Those names. Those names which are engraved on his necklace which he has been wearing from Day 1 even when we were already together.
It's hard to stop loving someone once you've started to love them so much.
I've not cried since this morning, after telling my story to Kak Aida. Big achievement huh. LOL. -.-
Argh. Yup, he's still my ex boyfriend. Still my close friend. But still the biggest jerk i know. Whom I'm still in love with. :'(
